WHAT IF…

What if… Every encounter was exciting, seducing, mysterious, magical, intriguing, enlightened, inspirational, appealing, unforgettable, loving, peaceful, motivational, life changing?

What if…. Every moment was enticing, convincing, fabulous, lovely, romantic,

celebrated, a deep gasp of exhalation, satisfying, invigorating, uncertain, aggressive,

crazy, impulsive,unpredictable,creative, full of new words and new thoughts and different ways of being and thinking…. wild and contagious,happy and calm all at the same time; tantalizing and electric, obsessed and addictive, seemingly out of control but within the limits of control…. On fire yet warm and inviting,

fierce and passionate, but real and in the moment.

To feel this moment and to know “that feeling,” and to feel alive when you experience it is the hearts desire.

To be in harmony with the moment and appreciate it… that is what it means to be alive…What if that was your life?

What if ….YOU tried to make everyone’s moment this beautiful? Don’t you think your life would become what you dreamed it to be and the people around you would love you for the gift you were giving them? What if….YOU became what you wanted others to be and you gave to others what you wanted to get….. maybe just maybe…. YOU would attract other like minded people and thus fulfill the desires of your heart.

So maybe the WHAT IF… could be your reality and within your control.

Maybe your dreams aren’t just about chance, but about a well thought out plan that is played so effortlessly that you become the plan and it becomes you. It can transform you into someone who is alive and exciting and wonderful and it just starts with a dream that turns into a reality. What if….

So where to begin…

Begin by writing about who you want to encounter, the kinds of people you want to meet, and the personalities you want to be around. Detail these kinds of people; meticulously and methodically outline what appeals to you about these people. Imagine the moments and what it feels like to be with such inspiring characters. Then begin to imagine yourself as the person themselves. Change your thoughts and patterns and behaviors to emulate your idea while staying true to your core personality and who you are. Aspire to always become wiser, more intuitive, and more aware. Become inherently attuned to your behaviors, how you stand and carry yourself. Watch yourself and watch others. Mirror people you admire and detail what you don’t admire in others and strive to avoid those behaviors in yourself. It sounds complicated but it is easy. Decide on one thing each day and it will become you if you really want it to. For instance, decide to observe that day. Or decide to be smart that day or at least pretend to be without trying to hard. Find everything you want to be and want in others around you. Always be on the journey of becoming and finding and exploring. Never settle for less and never settle for less in someone else, while accepting their pace in their journey. Love and accept others for what they are, but know that you make each moment what you will. It is within your limitations and control. So Sexy people out there….What if….

Just remember to mind your manners while fulfilling those “What if’s.”

Mind Your Manners, Gain Respect

Some people don't believe that anything they do affects anyone.  I don't know if they are just clueless and ignorant or just plain dumb.  But whatever the case, what you do has a profound effect upon those around you, and the choices you make will effect your loved ones, friends, and yourself. Everything has a consequence whether it be good or bad.  Keeping this in mind, it is important to remember how manners play a vital part in this school of thought.  

Being polite and kind to those around you and carrying yourself with dignity and professionalism will greatly affect how people treat you.  By being well mannered you will gain their respect and they will respond to you in like manner. Of course there are always the exceptions to this rule but overall it will be the result.  

Being kind and polite refers to tone, mannerisms, words, and actions.  If you don't mean what you do and say, your life will be worthless.  It is a choice to behave in a well mannered way and your heart must be the first to lead the way, otherwise people will see straight through you.  So to gain respect from those around you, you must begin by changing your heart which is your attitude.  You must truly want to be kind and loving and forgiving.  You must truly aspire to be friendly, helpful, and caring.  If this is who you truly are, you can hold your head up high and gain the respect that will follow.  People will aspire to be like you and hold you to a great standard. This will not be difficult to uphold since everything comes from your heart.  So change your heart and your mind and your actions and words will follow.  Mind your manners and you will gain great respect and love from those around you!   

Mind Your Tone

So have you ever noticed how some drama queens and kings have an ever alternating tone in their voice? And it isn't the pleasant tone inflections either!  It is either high and out comes a wine or it is loud and high and out comes an annoying half yell.

 WHaaaaaT?! 

So what do you do with people like this?  If it comes out in a wine, look at them in a cross way and ask them if something is wrong before you continue the conversation.  This will usually disrupt their vocal tone into a nice pleasant tone and you can continue your conversation.  IF you ignore them you will have to continue to listen to their dramatic negative vocal tones.  

If the tone is a half yell, ask them nicely to use a friendly tone with you or ask them why they are using that voice with you.  You can also tell them that they are coming across to you as cross and then ask them if that is their intent.  When it is someone you know and feel comfortable with, just nicely ask them to use their friendly voice. Continue to use this tactic until they change their habit. Some habits are very hard to break, so don't give up and continue to ask nicely so that your conversations can be pleasant and enjoyable.  Remember to Mind your Manners Please and your Tone.  Thank You and have a great day! 

Passive Aggression!

Passive aggressive behavior is a cowards way of taking a jab at your heart. Instead of coming out with their feelings they behave passive aggressively to feel in control. They control through undermined behaviors thereby manipulating or taking over a situation.  For example being argumentative, acting like a victim, being pouty,

closed minded, acting innocent, or playing dumb; these are all great examples of a passive aggressive person who in reality is a coward to his own feeling, thoughts, and wishes. 

Passive Aggressive can also be trivial jabs in conversation that take place to make the aggressor seem dominant. Instead of thinking of a way to overcome his feelings of insecurity or lack of confidence he resorts to negative put-downs.  This can occur within a simple fluctuation of tone or mannerism and go as far as outright insults given in a joking manner.  Regardless, it is not acceptable behavior and should not be tolerated.  

So how do you deal with someone like this?  If you confront them like a mature grown up, they will act innocent or dumb. So the best way to stop the behavior is to make sure you are communicating everything very clearly and being open.  

The second way is to not react or engage their behavior.  If they act innocent, get very basic with them. If this makes them defensive, ask them why they are acting that way.  This will bring the conversation down to the brass tax of what's bothering them.  If they still won't deal with the situation, ignore their passive drama and just wait for them to express themselves appropriately.  If you have done your part in communicating clearing while acting loving and kind, you have nothing to worry about.  Their issues are not for you to spend your valuable time on.  

As long as you are minding your manners and staying true to yourself. Live on my friend and be well!

 

Men With Manners Score The Girl

As long as a man has manners, no matter his looks, he will have plenty of friends.  A man with manners will always get the girl over the jock.  If this proves to be false, then the girl is just as superficial as the jock and they deserve each other.  

So if you are wondering if your manners are good enough to get the girl, let me tell you the difference between a man with manners  and just your average Joe Blow.

1. Mr. Manners steps aside and holds the door while Joe goes through the door and holds it for you behind him.

2.Mr.Manners is truly interested 

and invested in his relationships 

while Joe could care a less and is 

just around for his own self 

satisfaction.

3. Mr. Manners always has a listening ear and comments in a supportive manner, while Joe defends the other side of the situation with no empathy or true concern for your feelings. Playing the devils advocate is for debate class!

4.Mr. Manners always lets you know he is there for you and he accepts you unconditionally, Joe ditches you when you need a shoulder to cry on or help moving.

5. Mr. Manners defends you when others are bullying, intimidating or putting you down, Joe stays put in his corner and ignores everything going around.  He is clueless to the situation and about you.

6. Mr. Manners takes care of your emotional, sexual, and intellectual needs while Joe expects you to get your emotional and intellectual needs fulfilled from your girlfriends and only please him sexually with no reciprocate effort on his part.

7. Mr. Manners keeps himself and his things clean. He has pride in his looks and in his things. He takes much care in both. Joe trashes his things, is very dirty and disorderly and could give a shit what he wears.

8. Mr. Manners plans ahead for all special holidays, events and vacations taking responsibility of your feelings and 

wishes, while Joe could care a less if you feel remembered or special.  He is too busy caring about nothing and nobody.

9. Mr. Manners is always affectionate and loving. He is respectful and endearing in a sensual way. Mr. Manners seduces you and longs for you. He lets you know how much you mean to him.  Joe on the other hand, is grabby, slappy, creepy, and gropey.  His affection occurs only when his own sexual needs long to be fulfilled. 

10. And finally Mr. Manners is always willing to go the extra mile. He truly cares about all the people around him. Joe could care a less about any body else but himself. He is only invested in relationships that are convenient and not too much trouble.  

The Bible even talks about Manners.  This is from Proverbs 15:1-10 .1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.  . 2 The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.  .3 The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.  . 4 A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.  .5 A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.

6 In the house of the righteous is much treasure: but in the revenues of the wicked is trouble.   7 The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so.  .8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.   9 The way of the wicked is an abomination unto the LORD: but he loveth him that followeth after righteousness.   10  Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die.

Your heart will reveal itself so mind your heart and your manners please!

Thurgood Marshall writes:

“What is the quality of your intent? Certain people have a way of saying things that shakes us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent. My intent will be evident in the results.”